My Friend Jim, a true story about a fateful afternoon and the power of human connection.

You never know when and how a fateful encounter will change your life, not to mention someone else’s.

I met Jim on a warm spring afternoon at a restaurant in northern new jersey.  I was meeting clients there for dinner and had arrived early.  Looking to kill some time I spied an outside bar and took a seat next to an older gentleman wearing gray sweats and a baseball cap ordering his tiki happy hour drink through an electronic larynx pressed against his throat.

I ordered a beer for myself and asked my bar mate what he was drinking. “A pomegranate juice and gin cooler which was on the happy hour menu” he answered, so I asked if I could get him his next one which after a look of genuine surprise said, “sure!!” with a big grin.

I teed up my first question “so, where you from?” and the rest was history. Jim only lived a few hundred yards from the restaurant. He was married to his wife of 35 years, a nurse who passed away two years prior from ovarian cancer he told me with a sad smile. Losing his own valiant battle against throat cancer, Jim relied on an electronic larynx which made his voice sound robotic and otherworldly which could be off putting for some.  Jim also had a son, who was an executive at IBM. His baby boy was also newly married to a beautiful girl from the Czech Republic showing me their wedding picture with a gleam in his eye.

Jim had retired after 35 years with AT&T as manager of technology and upgrades for a subdivision at the company’s northeast HQ. A native of New Jersey Jim served his country proudly in the Air Force during Vietnam which I had gathered already by the detailed military insignias embroidered on his cap. After two tours of duty, he came home to find America had all but forgotten him and his service during those years fighting that terrible war and in1974 after fulfilling his debt to Uncle Sam, Jim rotated out of the Air Force, decorated, and honorably discharged. Jim was tough as nails but was struggling to find employment back then, he was however the living embodiment of a “can do” attitude.

Jim took the better part of a month to scour his top target New Jersey companies with his arm full of resumes with little luck, so he turned his sites to New York and its outer boroughs.

Jim would park his car and walk a few miles each day canvassing the streets and dropping off his paperwork to prospective employers. One day turning the corner on Brooklyn’s Flatbush Ave he spied a line of people a half a block long standing patiently to apply at AT&T. With the only resume he had left he said to himself “what the hell” and took his place in line. An hour went by, and more people showed up, with the line now stretching around the block. Suddenly, someone looking very official emerged from the office to conduct a head count and as luck would have it, Jim would be the last person to be seen that day.

Waiting patiently, Jim finally arrived at the company employment office. The sharply dressed woman conducting the interview was visibly tired by a long day of speaking to people with her prepared questions and receiving prepared answers. Despite the boredom and repetition of her day she took a shine to Jim. He was a natural born salesman and charmed her with tales of military duties that had direct and transferable skills. She was sold on this charismatic young veteran and Jim was offered a position on the spot and what do you know, Jim countered her offer and got himself an extra $40.

I came to find out Jim was also quite an entrepreneur, not only did he work for AT&T but he also moonlighted in the evenings as part owner of one of the only video rental stores in Brooklyn and said that he had seven REALLY good years. Jim feathered his nest with his earnings during that period of his life to support his new wife and the subsequent birth of his son.

Jim’s stories grew more fascinating and impressive, even buying a Mercedes Benz with a shoe box full of cash! Such an unassuming figure with such a rich history I was blown away and caught myself experiencing one of those rare moments in life…to just connect and delight in a fellow human being’s company.  I’ve always been a big fan of the simple things holding the most meaning and this was a gold standard. I wished I could have bottled that charming hour to take out and experience again sometime, but just sat in deep appreciation in that moment.

Then came a point where I could sense something was happening within Jim. Suddenly, in mid-stream Jim unexpectantly paused and became silent looking at the ground, both his hands griping tightly around his tiki drink. I knew something important was happening and he became silent and deep in thought. He collected himself and broke from his spell. Jim slowly turned his head back to me extending his arm and holding out his hand for me to shake. “Thank you, young man, thank you for being here, you’re just what I needed, just when I needed it” he said. “You made my day, thank you so much.”

I knew I had touched him deeply from nothing more than my attention and genuine interest in him as a person. He said he “had been thinking way too much”, and “that I came around at just the right time.” My eyes widened with slight alarm and now it was my turn to pause and reflect. With a more serious tone in my voice, I asked with a furrowed brow placing my hand on his shoulder, “Jim you, okay?” “Do you need anything at all?” It was then my suspicions were confirmed, Jim was contemplating self-harm out of the loneliness and despair from the loss of his wife. I gave Jim my business card and told him to please reach out anytime at all and that I’d love to hear from him. He put his hand on my arm thanking me for the gesture and reassuring me he would genuinely be alright. Looking at me with a big smile he said, “Just telling you my silly these stories makes me realize I have so much to be grateful for young man, so much”. I gave Jim a smile as my anxious heart returned to its normal beat. He told me he’d be paying his son an overdue visit in upstate New York that week just to give him a hug and at that point I knew Jim would be okay. I let him know that it was me who was grateful for the pleasure of his company and we both said at the same time “I really hope to see you again” giving ourselves a little chuckle.

I’m forever grateful for that Springtime afternoon and the connection and gifts imparted by this unassuming and remarkable gentleman, my friend Jim.